for you, the satisfied consumer who frolics in safety and civil freedom, are clearly unaware of your blessedness.
form opinions if you must.
but judgements, those are irretractable sentences.
i had a dream again.
so real, i believe my senses were confused.
then i woke up, and sighed.
so many butter cookies, but they feed no mouths.
just look at them readings.
and the nearness of my thesis submission.
times i wish i were equipped with american skills.
i tried to be more than me
and i gave till it all went away
and we've only surrendered
to the worst part of these winters that we've made.
perfection at 11:49 PM
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Thursday, January 05, 2012
i think i really detest thursdays.
paper crumpled.
taking up less space in the universe.
already small, its made even more insignificant.
cynicism and unbelief: the hand that crushes.
no one dares to expect; we are all cowards.
what is the use, to smooth it out again.
when there will only be creases and dents in those dreams and ideals.
they can never be the same, stained by jade and an elderly sigh.
maybe soon enough, they will cease to resist.
maybe soon enough, i will succumb.
surrendering to the chains of reality that bind my heart and seal my lips.
brought down to my knees, removed of hope, despaired.
when you try your best but you dont succeed.
when you get what you want but not what you need.
when you feel so tired but you cant sleep.
stuck in reverse.
get your head out of the clouds, they'd say.
i am a dreamer, a fool.
but i speak not of a departure from practicality, much less a constant striving toward a fairytale.
clearly, a purely fantastical outlook on life is at odds with the demands for pragmatism in the real world.
but as so many of us do, we escape from these demands from time to time with a book, a hobby, a movie, a lover.
time to time, underscored.
dormancy.
i leave this place.
i woke up feeling heavy-hearted
i'm going back to where i started
the morning rain, the morning rain
although i wish that you were here
that same old road that brought me here
is calling me home.
perfection at 5:50 PM
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Sunday, January 01, 2012
the past is set in stone.
some hold it as a trophy; others hide it as a shameful reminder.
some made small, forgivable errors; others committed huge, irreparable mistakes.
but judge not the latter on simple deeds alone.
for folly is only folly if it is ignorantly denied.
no new room.
but new sheets, at least.
i once knew a man.
understood his dreams, his fears, his heart, his core.
but he entered himself in a race.
a race he decided to run on his own strength.
his perspective changed, standing now on the other bank.
still the same beautiful soul, just in a different place.
separated, i can only love him from afar.
the first day of 2012.
blessed new year, everyone.
now its departed, i'm broken-hearted
seems like we never started
you think you're loving but you dont love me
baby you've hurt me.
perfection at 7:20 PM
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Monday, November 28, 2011
this stage of life.
on foreign ground, so unnatural.
everything before reads like something out of an instructional manual.
whats changed?
isnt it simply about dominance, a need to prove one's worth of status.
as if speaking more coarsely or bestowing generous portions of profanities genuinely makes (civilized) people hold you in higher esteem.
mister mal, oh, mister mal.
i guess what makes it intimidating is the silence.
the lack of continuity as feared misattribution to either poor engagement skills or perceived aloofness.
a healthy curiosity, let that take the lead instead.
no, thank you.
not a guy who sees a woman as just another rung on Life's ladder to be pursued, conquered then shelved for display like a beautiful trophy ready to be coated with dust.
rather, a man who sees his woman as his partner for Life to be respected, trusted and cherished like a lover who is at once strong and tender.
take me by the tongue and i'll know you
kiss me till you're drunk and i'll show you
all the moves like jagger
i got the moves like jagger
i got them moves like jagger.
perfection at 10:29 PM
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Monday, November 07, 2011
a present mind is endowed with strength and reason.
so cut down on late nights with early mornings.
today is a beautiful day.
the sky is a light pale blue with clouds that resemble friendly bunnies.
the sun is bright and warm, giving light that has been sorely missed this past week.
i cant help but stare, then smile and say, "blessed be the name of the Lord".
stop, look, not walk (on) but enjoy and bask in this work of art.
in the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
there's a pleasing sense of happiness for me
i'm on the top of the world looking
down on creation and the only explanation i can find.
perfection at 5:16 PM
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Wednesday, November 02, 2011
learning the lesson.
basking in His presence does something.
it brings a keen awareness of the here and now.
this very moment, not on whats planned next or whats coming up on the to-do list.
something so difficult to do these days.
ahhh.
after a good workout session.
a not-so-delayed gratification.
just because a person prefers the conventional doesnt mean he's rigid, stifled or unexposed.
the word 'prefers' suggests the exertion of choice: he's been to the other side and back.
the former, decidedly less appealing and to some extent, pointless.
what do you so fear.
that your eyes, like glass, give away those secrets like candy on halloween.
that your smile, well-furnished, shows how hard you're trying, if only for the benefit of everyone.
on days like these, or not.
what you really are is solemn, melancholic, thoughtful.
main lesson taken away from evolutionary psych.
selfishness can be understood, and overcome.
but it does not elucidate how.
You walked with me, footprints in the sand
and helped me understand where i'm going
You walked with me when i was all alone
you give me strength to carry on.
perfection at 12:23 AM
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Thursday, October 27, 2011
no more childish games.
the java chip frap is proving to be so chummy with the tastebuds that it might just take over the white chocolate mocha frap as my regular customer.
them.
they make a mockery of life.
open your eyes wide.
no rounding up or benefits of the doubt.
LKY's memoirs in french.
commonwealth.
when all that has been said and done.
there will be no more beautiful places or people left to speak of.
only materialism and competition.
when you truly care for someone, their mistakes dont change your feelings because its the mind that gets angry.
the heart still cares.
perks without the works?
wish i could, but its not right.
all those sweet smiles
all of the passion
all of the heat, the peace, the pain
and knowing too well
i couldnt hide from those eyes.
perfection at 11:56 PM
theJOURNEY.
theTUNES.
what sing you.
theMUSICIAN.
dania
28 may
st nicks
anderson jc
NUS
trinity christian centre
